Do you know the author Molly Mcnett? You don't?! I do and she is absolutely a doll!
That's Molly up there. We went to ISU together and had some acting classes together and some awful theatre lit (or something) class with this teacher who had no business teaching and a big scar on her chest. Get her book, "One Dog Happy." Molly's book, not scar-chest gal's. It's a great read and a bunch of short stories. It's a Pulitzer Prize winner, you know. Well, some award, I forgot which one, but it's a big deal. She did a reading at KGB Bar with two other authors. I'll leave it at I found hers the most enjoyable of the three out of deference to her co-readers. I think it's just that their books probably didn't lend themselves well to excerpt reading as well. Or maybe it's that Molly has to be one of my top 10 favorite people. Ever.
I went to this restaurant before the reading to grab a quick bite, and lo and behold! in walked Molly with her entourage. Her husband Dan is very funny and witty and he's a great guy that bought me a beer after the reading. And not just any beer, but a Guinness! Very classy man! Thanx Dan!
And her buddy Joe is also a very handsome urbane gentleman who (I think inadvertently) picked up the tab for my salmon dinner, while the other 6 people shared a plate of nachos. I certainly owe him something! Thanx Joe!
So we went out after the reading, as previously stated, and let me tell you: Irish guys have the BEST stories! Another bud of Molly and Dan's, Daru (?) had a HUGE HYSTERICAL story about his drunk uncle and his criminal cousin. I couldn't even begin to relate the story to you, but it began with a drunk crying on an entry stairway in the Lower East, to an Irish petrol station slash golf accessory store, to the IRA controlled docks of Dublin. Add a hallway filled with baseball bats and a crime spree in Perth, Australia, and I think you can piece the story together from that.
The night ended with a rousing rendition of "Danny Boy" and hugs and reminiscences. Except the "Danny Boy" part, it's all true. I loved last night!
You know, I had this really depressing talk with this other pal of mine. He was trying to convince me that online dating is quite the thing to do. And it makes sense, he says, as I am not really a big out-on-the-town kind of guy and really not even a big people person. I'm very content seeing a show or having dinner for one, but sometimes it would be nice to have a co-hort, I just got to find the guy that I'm not going to want to stab in the eye after the evening's done. That's the clincher. I accept my one-ness, as the alternative is prison.
But online dating seems so desperate and frankly, loserish. Not to mention I currently have an unattainable crush that I have fantasized into my Mr. Right. Israel (the object of my affection, not the country) has probably not the same delusion. Did I mention he lives in Mexico? Or that he's in his 20s? And that I am not in my 20s, or even 30s? But he is absolutely adorable and stimulating intellectually and physically (Rafael Nadal look-a-like)and if he came right now and said he needed $10000 and my right pinky, I'd tell him let's go to the bank first as I don't want to get pinky blood on the money. We email frequently and exchange online smooches and hugs, but I'm not an idiot. Not MUCH of an idiot. And he's the one that picked me up! Probably some freaky father figure thing.
But this guy was saying to just do it (the online dating thing), and no harm no foul, blah blah blah, and I should post a picture on some sites. He seemed shocked that I don't really have a picture of myself (does everyone have a self pic on their computers?), so I said that he should take my picture.
Well, for some reason, that was ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THE QUESTION, and I should get some friend to do it!
As I said ad nauseum, that people person thing stays at work, so my circle of friends is small. And I think it's weird and uncomfortable to ask anyone to take my photo so I can meet fatty losers online (present company excluded). And besides, isn't he the one who brought it up in the first place? And,if it's ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THE QUESTION for him to take my pic, why should it be in the question for anyone else to do it? And thanks for reminding me that the one person in whom I've confided quite a bit in and have thought of as a confident all these months really can't be bothered with solutions, but by all means throw the tons of problems out on the plate! Tastes like chicken! Unrefrigerated botulism-infested grey sickly bird flu chicken. With a side of Brussels sprouts.
Actually, I like Brussels sprouts.
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