Theories of Palin

So I was wrong: Palin wasn't dropped from the Republican ticket after three weeks. Who'd thought she would have made it this long? Not me. I thought for sure after Troopergate, husband wanting to secede from the Union, pregnant daughters while preaching family values, Bridge to Nowhere , appointing unqualified high school classmates to government positions, her relations with Reverend Kalnin, etc. I think the RNC took into consideration that it is good to cater to the lowest common denominator. I forgot that. Or, I didn't think that we were that low.


And why would we think that Palin has the ability, after naming her kids Track, Trig, Bristol, Piper, and Willow, to make good (or even rational) decisions. I have a theory: Sarah is trying to create a family of X-Men Superheroes!! Track, with his amazing speed! Trig can compute complex mathematical equations at the speed of light! Bristol- anything she touches turns to pharmaceuticals! Piper, the ultra-sonic screamer! And Willow, who can grow really long wispy green hair! Who needs an army?! Just send the P-Men to Iran and watch the niqads fly! No more Nuclear Arms Race! No more scary Russians! No wonder John McCain picked Sarah Palin as VP - he'd be an idiot not to! This also explains why she couldn't have been vetted, what with the need for secret identities and all. How could we not have seen it?



(Note to Biden: Guess what? If you run on a platform of 'family values,' THE FAMILY IS NOT OFF LIMITS!!)